Sunday, April 15, 2012


Burger reviewed: Big Mac - Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions - all on a sesame seed bun
Venue: McDonalds
Date: 13 April 2012

The fellows decided that it was time to rate a burger that our many readers can relate to – a yardstick if you will. We therefore ventured to McDonalds to try their stalwart, the Big Mac. For the sake of argument I wanted to mention that the McDonalds we ventured was the Southbank one, located close to Yarra. If you listen to the McDonalds advertisements this fact is of little relevance, as whether you are in Melbourne or Belarus, a Big Mac is apparently identical. Some fellows reminisced about the famous Big Mac song as we entered. For those of you who are not familiar with the tune, you will find it at the following link

While this blog is primarily about burgers, we fellows also give a smaller weight to the Burger Friday experience in general. This contains such criteria such as atmosphere, cleanliness, speed of service and whether a beer is included in a meal. While beer is available in some European McDonalds stores, the Australian version obviously struggled to figure in this category. The cleanliness of McDonalds is usually a hit and miss. If the restaurant is quiet, it would normally be impeccable but generally at peak times the cleanliness can be an issue. The stories we hear about our mates who used to work as cooks for McDonalds makes you think that the OHS inspector will revoke some licences quicker that Nathan Tinkler revoked the A league licence of the Newcastle Jets, but of course these stories cannot be verified. We can also officially say we have found the Usain Bolt in terms of speed of service, but you would expect that from a “fast food” chain. Enough about the experience let’s get to the real stuff.    

The Big Mac is inherently linked to being Big, but as the photos above may suggest, the Maccas advertisers have definitely perfected the art of optical illusion. There are two-all beef patties which is apparently meant to make the burger big, but in reality both patties are so thin, that they would struggle to match the size of generally accepted single patty. The McDonalds patties are also bereft of flavour, but that is what you would come to expect from pre-packaged meat. However all is not lost, as flavour does come through in spades through the Big Mac’s special sauce.  Google tells me the sauce is a mix of various types of salad dressing mayonnaise, various pickle relishes and even some ketchup. Whatever is in it, this special sauce is what makes a Big Mac, a Big Mac. The sesame seed bun is a soft as a Jason bedding pillow, but I have doubts about its ability to match the pillow’s toughness. The burger may not have it all, but tell me you have sunk your teeth into one after a steady night on the piss.       

Onto the famous Maccas fries. We have noticed that most burger joints have used these shoe strings as a template for their own establishments and it is easy to see why. Crisp, easy to eat and the perfect amount of a salt, create a sumptuous side dish. The only time McDonalds fries are not good is when they are cold and soggy. The fellows were lucky enough to experience a recently cooked crop of fries. Big tick. Only issue is that you must request sauce. Seriously McDonalds, just include the bloddy sauce in the take away bag or tray. You can’t be saving that much money. Speaking of money, at $7.85for a large meal, even the tightest people should be able to scruff up the change to afford this burger.     

The Big Mac is a burger you can rely on. You know what you’re going to get whether you are in Melbourne or Belarus. While this burger won’t have you salivating for more, few can argue about its consistency. A lot like St Kilda utility Jason Blake, a player who has played over 200 games  but has yet to poll a single bronwlow vote. The Big Mac, ultra consistent, but not the burger of your dreams.

Burger Friday Rating: 29/50

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